Chapter 1: Chronicles Of A Zulu Kasi Princess (Page 11)

“there is always a chance for a new beginning” 

― Catherine DePasquale

Ntiseng’s crystal white crisp pillow  was squashed and wet with tears, missing her dad, one person who thought she’s beautiful no matter what. Ntate Makena was a wise old traditional man, who protected his daughters from greedy men and taught them about self-love. She spend the whole night crying. It was an enormous terror. For the first time in her life she was called fat. The awful words Tshepo threw yesterday reminded her of ntate Makena so much even though ; he died five years ago leaving  his children with  some finances to further fund his business deals, but they blamed each other at the end  for not honoring his wishes.On the other hand, Ntiseng regretted marrying and starting a family at an early age; her life could have been so much better right , she always thought.

Makena was awarded a scholarship to study in UK about the chicken franchise business. Coming back to South Africa, he opened twenty-two chicken liken outlets across town and townships. But his children let his legacy flash down the drain; the money was spent on unnecessary things and all the businesses closed one by one. Ntiseng was the only responsible one and she believed that she will become rich like his father. And marrying Tshepo shuttered her dreams as she could not built from where her father left. She was daddy’s girl and not being appreciated made her realise  the reality of how empty her life was without her father.

She stopped crying and checked around, just to find no one beside her. Tshepo cared less of her feelings. She wanted to use the shower, then Tshepo came into their bedroom looking fresh with a plain white T-shirt, his face looked repentant. Their path was rocky. Ntiseng went back to her side of the bed; she wanted to end this circus marriage. She was tired to wear a mask and did not want him to talk her into staying. She could not spend another minute with him, not after what happened yesterday.

He grabbed her while standing on the path infront of her, blocking her way. His breath smelled a mix of alcohol and smoke but he also looked smoking hot. you'd swear he is going for a photoshoot, smooth shaved face, ...

Honey I am sorry. I should have not been so blunt, so cruel. But I had to say it, to keep you on your toes. We both know that you hate women who have the body you used to have. And let’s encourage each other and not get offended by small things. Its all because I love you.

Her tears came out rushing. Because you love me Tshepo? She said shaking. Her face looked swollen, eye bags, big lips and a shiny nose.

All that was done was for love? she was repeating what he said and answered, "But where I am standing, it didn’t and never felt like love" she was furious. Tshepo grapped her again, wrapped his hands around her. Nteseng stiffened. “don’t touch me”. I cant take this, not after what you said yesterday. He held her firmly and said; “I love you Nteseng, and you know that. But I need to be honest with you. I have always wanted to say all this to you for so long. Or you want me to lie?

I mean you have now started using more make-up instead of losing weight. Ntiseng could not believe it, her husband was not drunk but he’s saying the exact same things while he was sober. She felt like crying loudly but she did not want to crush infront of him.

She said: you have said it all – Im a nothing but a sdudla. She started laughing. Sdudla mafehlefehle., trying to hide her pain.  

Honey stop laughing, I want the best for you; for you to look your best., please come – lets go to the kitchen so I can make you coffee and omelette.

I don’t want it, said Ntiseng tearfully. In her mind she was thinking, how did it happen? How their marriage gone from a complete happiness to complete misery. Or was she lying to herself all along. He did not just destroy her confidence but destroyed her life.

Here is your coffee my love? he carefully put a strong Jacobs coffee infront of her

Nteseng grabbed the cup, put abit of gin in it and drained it. The pain remained in her heart but the brandy numbed it. Suddenly, she was light-hearted.